Frazzled

It has been a week since my last post. I know, shocking right? Lately, things have been heading down hill with my family, but it is pulling us closer together. A lot of things have been just going through my mind and it is a blow up and leak out my ears.

On Saturday, my grandfather had a heart attack, but luckily things worked out in his favor that everything is fine. He woke up with chest pains, so my grandmother gave him an asprin while my uncle called for an ambulance. My uncle was there for the weekend where it is the fourth. Well he was transported to Portland after having the heart attack at the hospital. He has been there since then and everyone is worried. One thing that I need to get off my chest is that this is about Grammie getting to see Grandpa. Someone in my family just doesn't seem to understand it. Grandpa is 88 and you are 22. I get that you care and want to go see him but with Grandpa being in ICU not many people can go in and he gets tired very quickly. Just be lucky you got to see him, even though you threw a temper tantrum. Wierd how that works. Yesterday, he didn't reconize anyone, even Grammie. It worried me a little but he is better now, which is good.

I have decided to scrap book my senior year and the summer before, which is NOW! I have started it and I have a page for both 4th of July, which is mostly just pictures of the fireworks, and Portcon, which is just a picture of me and Lizzy. We didn't really take any pictures there. Oh well. It looks totally awesome, but it makes me think. What is going to happen til the time I graduate, or even when I graduate college? Its crazy to think about it. I am super excited for my senior year, don't get me wrong, but I think some where deep inside I am scared. I am scared to lose my friends when we seperate and try to achieve our goals. It's scary to think that people who you are best friends with now may not even talk to you anymore. With my boyfriend a year below me, whats going to happen when I do graduate? Stay together or decide it is better to not try? What about the guy you like losing all interest in you? Its just scary but I think we just have to hope for a good day tomorrow and make the most of what you have right now.

Other things on my mind, you may ask. With senior year coming around, that also means college, which again brings many things into my mind. How am I going to pay for it? What colleges do I apply to? Will I even get in? Will I get many scholarships? Wow....I don't even know what to say. Haha.

Another thing on my mind is my wonderful boyfriend. I know, I know, most people would say "shouldn't you be more worried about other things" and to those certain people, I say shut up! You have no idea how happy I am about this. You have no idea what I have been through to finally find someone nice. And you may say that you have been through worse, but you don't know half of what I have been through so how can you compare? Many other things have also been on my mind about it, but you will just have to wait.

Song of the Moment: Destined Twins
It is a song on the soundtrack for Vampire Knight and it is so pretty. Tee hee.