Terribible.....

Have you ever noticed that you may change over time? I am right now, and I don't like who I have become. I have become a person who is mean and rude to people that I don't even know. I am talking to people behind their back. I am even judging people on their looks, and making decisions based on it. When did I become so superficial? I think I may like this guy, but I found out one thing is holding me back from going for it, I think I would be embarassed to be seen in public with him. He is a bigger person, and he is genuinely sweet and considerate but the superficial person that has become to be me is taking over, and I don't like it. I have told myself that I am going to change. This is definetely immature and I want it gone. If someone actually likes being this immature and enjoys it, I want to know why? You should really think about it?

There is one thing I don't understand though, why someone would ignore their friends but act like nothing is happened. I feel terrible about that. No one should be ignored, ecspecially when they are new, and don't have many friends. Why would you ignore someone, so randomly. You used to tell me that you hated being ignored by someone, or even hated by someone, and not even knowing the reason, so why are you being a hypocrite and doing it now?

I think it has become funny how people are now regretting decisions made.

Things around me are also changing around me, and it's so weird. I don't know what I will do. People are getting ready for college and sending out their applications, writing their essays, and looking for scholarships. I think that it is starting to become scary but the stress will just have to be put off to the side to get through it.

Well that's pretty much what is going on in my mind.

Song of the Week: All in my Head (gone blank on the author). It is a song on the scrubs sound track.